Every lame bachelor party website out there has some stupid bachelor party scavenger hunt or to-do list that will (somehow) magically take any boring night and turn it into Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras. But, when you look at these scavenger hunts a little closer, they all read like a pathetic list of bland ingredients torn from Rachel Ray’s book of “30-minute Bachelor Party Clichés!” Here are just some of the “Wild” (their description, not mine) examples from one of my arch nemeses’ sites:
• Dance by yourself on the Dance floor.
• Get a lap dance from an exotic dancer or a girl at a bar. (Doomed Groom note: “Duh.”)
• Get a tampon from a girl.
Get a tampon from a girl? Seriously? Is this really what you want passing for “fun” at your bachelor party? What’s next? Do a peppermint schnapps shot out of a Summer’s Eve douche bag? Jeez-us Kee-rist. I’d be horrified if I wasn’t so bored to tears.
Instead, I’ve put together a bachelor party scavenger hunt that is one part drinking game – and one part ritualistic passage from single-life into full-blown marital bliss/misery. I have conceived a list of tasks that both encapsulates the life The Doomed Groom is about to leave behind, but also prepares him for the “blessings” of marriage that await him.